Kevin Holmes: August 2007

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

Climbing Mountains

After weeks of stomach problems, and resulting breakdown in skin integrity, Kev is very low in spirits and has gone back a few steps. RPH will try for 2 weeks' intensive physio (45 mins per day); if there is not a positive improvement rehab is not an option at this stage.This means we will be ... taking Kevin home to do what we can. It is a very disappointing set-back at this time, not to mention overwhelming as he is in need of full nursing care.

He has not spoken for some time and appears to be withdrawing more.

We feel bringing Kev home is an option we must give our best, in an attempt to lift his spirits and hopefully some cognitive skills.

The last few weeks have proved to be physically and emotionally very painful for Kev, but has shown that he has physical strength and capabilities.

We continue with the osteopathy, his neck is in very bad form as he has a torticollis. Stiffening to the right arm is more pronounced, typical of CVA, with decreased circulation.

Kevin has had two lots of acupuncture, both of which have had a positive outcome. Following the last treatment on Saturday, Kev was emotional listening to Kendie's voice on the phone (he has held the phone at times to listen to conversation) - he then hugged me and stroked my hair! These occurences are not as frequent now and it was a joy to get a smile from him last night when I 'gave him a telling off' to try harder - he gave me a big grin, first since he saw Mum last Wed.

The nurse unit manager and OT feel it will be the best move to take him home. We will have some day leave in Perth this weekend.

We have had many mountains to climb in the last month, a lot of energy being used to protect and gain rights that should be standard for every client and carer.

I will be glad not to have to fight these unneccessary, however essential, battles. These have frustrated, upset, and exhausted me far more than the initial accident.

Now our next mountain will be one of endurance, flexibility and pre-planning. Discharge planning has begun!!

My love to everyone and many thanks for your support. I know life is busy and some are unable to touch base with me, but please if you have time, a few words do a lot to keep us going.

Lots of Love Read more!

About Kevin

Kevin's Profile

'A loving, caring family man, with a strong sense of loyalty to his family and friends. A quiet achiever.' (Quote from one of Kev’s mates.)

Kevin Le Roy Holmes was born on 12 August 1956 in Bunbury, Western Australia, the first of Tim and Jean Holmes's four children.

Kevin left home at a young age after completing some of his mechanic’s ticket, and travelled around Australia with his brother, Peter, and a couple of mates.

He was a pearl diver in Broome for several years before meeting Alison in Brisbane, in 1980. They met up again a year later and rode an old motorbike up to Broome. Alison returned to New Zealand and Kev followed a while later, after he had cared for his Dad and nursed him back to health.

Alison and Kev were married in 1984. After living in Tauranga, NZ, for some months they returned to Bunbury, where their first daughter, Renae, was born at home, as planned.

They travelled around Oz in a large bus that became the family home for the next 2 years. This was Kevin and Alison’s pride and joy and they did a lot of work to make it a home for their young family. Kev worked at Numbala Nunga in Derby as a personal care assistant. Kendie was born in Derby, WA, caught by her Mum and Dad in an explosive delivery!

In 1989 the family flew back to NZ from where they had been living in Coffs Harbour, New South Wales, returning to live in Whangaparaoa for the next 9 years. In this time Kev developed Holmes Décor, a painting and decorating business, and the couple did some small-time property development, which financed holidays and extra goodies for their growing family.

Natahlia was born in 1991 in the front seat of their car after a 65 min labour; Kev was both chauffeur and midwife! This was a grand finale after months of Kevin nursing his pregnant wife, who was on strict bed rest after ruptured membranes at 19 weeks.

Brenna was born 20 months later, with another planned home birth. Kev managed to wake up and get with it a few minutes before she shot onto the planet.

Life ticked on, with Kev being a great Dad, dressing up as clowns and even a frog for the kids’ parties. They have fond memories of Dad bringing home lollies on Friday night, which happened to be pay day! All the girls had turns going out with their Dad on dinner dates and to the movies so they could have one-on-one time with him – we couldn’t afford to all go out at once anyhow! This great compromise was hit upon by Kev.

We wanted to share some adventures with the girls, so we camped around the South Island of NZ for 3 months before heading back to Oz! We picked up a Coaster bus just out of Sydney, setting up home in it for the next 12 months while we travelled around. We finally landed back in Bunbury and set up our home here.

Kev went to the UK for a 3-month working holiday and also visited Pompeii, which was a fave for him, with his sister-in-law and brother-in-law. In hindsight it is a great comfort to know he did something of great fun then, as little did we know what the future held.

Later, he made a trip back to NZ to prepare our house there for sale. We also had a couple of great family holidays in Bali.

Kev worked hard and built the premises of our respite care business, adding on six bedrooms, three bathrooms, lounge, decks, etc. We all spent many hours developing both the home and the grounds.

He became a skilled carer and was very popular across the board with both our clientele and colleagues. I saw a whole new side to his personality develop as he worked with angry kids who were socially disadvantaged, communicate with the non-verbal, succeed in behavioural management through kindness and strategy, have those with mental health issues comfortable and trusting with him in no time at all, cater fully and successfully for the needs of the intellectually and physically challenged, and comfort and achieve with few words.

He developed friendships everywhere. Everyone loved Kev; it was extremely rare to hear a bad word from others about him. He possessed and cultivated an emotional intelligence that is rare to find.

On 29 May 2007, in a split second, an uncertain Part 2 to Kevin’s life began. We can only support him as he takes this unexpected turn in his journey.

How can you help?

Many people, whether living near to or at a distance from Kevin and Alison, are unsure what they can do to help. Here are some ideas!

1. Get on the phone! It doesn't have to be a long call, and what you say doesn't have to be of any great significance - just a simple 'Hi! I'm thinking of you and wanted to hear your voice' means a huge amount.

2. If you live near by, just drop in! If you find chaos, just put the kettle on or fold up a bit of washing. If all is calm, just put the kettle on or fold up a bit of washing! Nothing is too little.

3. Take Kevin out for a walk or a drive - he'll appreciate your interest and your company, and the more that he feels like he is still worth spending time with the more it will help his self-esteem and his healing.

4. You don't know what to say to Kevin, or don't know what to do around him? Just be yourself, speak to him just the way you would have before his accident. Remember, he's not stupid, he's not deaf... he understands mostly everything you say and can hear perfectly well, but just be understanding of the fact that he gets confused about things. Talk about things you and/or he used to do, but avoid saying 'Do you remember when...', as if he can't remember then it could be frustrating for him - better to say, for example, 'You came to see me one day and you...'.

5. Pop a postcard or letter with a simple message in the post, addressed to Kevin.

6. If you fancy making a meal and taking it around to share, it is always welcome! A few people have done this and it is really appreciated as it creates a social situation and helps ease Alison's burden by helping with the need to find time to put meals on the table each day.

7. If you want to make a gift towards a therapy session, for example, please leave a comment in the most recent post and it will be forwarded on to us:
· Massage (1 hour) AUD 40
· Osteopathy (session) AUD 85
· Physiotherapy (session) AUD 75
· Feldenkreis (session) AUD 85
· Quantum med (session) AUD 50
· Continence aids (per week) AUD 90

Kevin Holmes

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

Climbing Mountains

About Kevin

Kevin

Blog Archive

Inspirational sites to visit

Followers - please join!

Thank you for visiting. You are visitor number:

How can you help?